Pigslips

Show started tonight, with Kim snoring, fuck it was a noise and half? Anything to do with being a fat’un? It seems that the bigger you are the more noise? Any advance then please comment, as there we go!! Was fuckin loud, poor George….Katie’s trial was OK, apart from the coverage which totally shit itself! But when resumed it was funny, she had to answer questions to release stars:

1. What killed more peeps in Australia last year? Sharks or Horses? She answered Sharks (well you would) It was infact Horses!
2. Please Spell Kangaroo backwards…… She got it right that was 2 stars
3. There are 12 campmates in camp, 1 does a trial and wins 8 stars, but on the way back drops half of them but finds 2, how many meals? Obviously 6 for you thick cunts (she didn’t say that) and she got it right
4. How many types of venimous snakes are there in Oz? (she had 20 seconds to answer, and they told here higher or lower) She fucked it up
5. Put the following in age order starting with the youngest. Kylie & Danni Minogue, Rolf Harris or Shayne Warne? She asks who is Shayne Warne… What a cunt she actually is… and she got it totally wrong… Good 4 stars so far
6. Complete and repeat this sentence in an Australian accent: G’day Sheila can you throw another shrimp on the barbie… Shit question, but she somehow done it, although she sounded like she was from Bombay for cunts sake..

So that was that, 6 stars and she jumped around, tits going fuckin everywhere.

Katie asked if the camp expected what she is like, Gino replied that he thought she would be a right bitch.. Ha Ha and Kim says she was a publicity seeker and she moans but she loves it, and then slated her for flaunting her tits in the shower so the public love it, and then she says not to insult her intelligence by saying she hates it! Interesting, I think she has a point! And it was like being told off by the headmistress ha ha, I growing to like Kim! I really am, she seems like she is trying to cause a storm, watch that fucker, I think that’s very very funny! Kim rises up my chart. Katie sort of took it rather well to be fair! Katie also rises in my table……

Celebrity chest was between Stuart and Sabrina, am unsure about them, they have seemed pretty dull, although Sabrina is rather fit, and Stuart was in The Sham not so long back, so will give them some space! And it is only day 4, but I hope they start to do something soon, otherwise they are just dull boring cunts. They had to go into a pond and get number rocks to make a figure! Now then….. How fuckin thick can some cunts be… Took them a while but eventually they got it. I would of taken the same time too, but for the sake of humour, fuckin thick cunts.

The question was what was track 7 on Sabrina’s album, she didn’t know, luckily Gino did!! How cuntin dodgy, but seems to be an advantage should any of you fuckers be stuck in the middle of the Australian jungle one night.

So Camilla has fucked off, about time, she brought nothing to the party, and with respect, they have to have seen this show so they can’t say they don’t know what to expect1 So totally slack and I have no sympathy for her. It’s just wrong that someone should do that, she has been a tearful mess all the time so fair play for going, but why fuckin go there in the first place.

So into the jungle goes Joe Bugner. Heavyweight boxer, so that should be quite good, everyone knew of him, he fought in Ali’s era and is clearly a big cunt, meaning tall cunt as in big cunt as in Christiano Ronaldo. As an Australian resident, he should protect the camp against spiders, rats and hippos etc etc….. And he pointed that out just before bedtime, all about the spiders that will bite and kill you, and snakes! Now back to the big cunt thing, now I like him, but the camp may now feel that he is now the big cunt!! Ha Ha, he gets a good placing on my table now.

So to the live trial vote off, it was between…Katie and Justin (AGAIN) and the vote went for SUPRISE CUNTING SUPRISE Katie……. She this time has to sit at a desk, and then take a few lessons, basically open the desk and retrieve star with her kisser….

• First task was a green pool of horrid shit, meal worms and some other cunting stuff, rancid slimey shit, but she got it.
• Second was gooey mealworms and maggots!! Rank as but give her credit she got it……..
• Third task was English lesson called Snakesphere (clever cunts) when she had to stick her hands into a sphere full of snakes and retrieve cards with words on, then she had to match them to sentences on a board with help of the camp! Easy that one, 5 stars…….
• Fourth lesson was P.E. where she had to get underwater in a huge tank, grab a brick, sounds easy but there are baby alligators in the drink, brave bitch this Jordan wench! Again she was OK, but again it was an easy task, so 6 stars!
• Fifth bit was a drink from the tuck shop, the drink was a glass of beetlejuice! Nice, down the whole half pintish and win a star! She has swallowed worse clearly so it was no problem???? Nah, she couldn’t manage that one!
• Sixth was Chemistry, where she had to put liquid into beakers where there will be some stupid reaction, she had gloves filled with biting insects ha ha, they bit the shit out of her, she had to use tongs to pick up tubes and pour it into beakers, she knocked one over the hamfisted cunt, and done the other, so 1 star won on this one….
• Seventh was hands into tank full of eels, 3+2 -4=1, so she has to put 1 eel into box, which sounds easy, but grab an eel next time your by the river! Still, she has handles her fair share of slippery cocks so no doubt she will try try suck it once she has it out!! She fucked it up.. So a total of 7 out of 10 stars so not that bad..
• Chance of a final star! She has to wear boots and a coat and wait for a bell, again sounds easy however the coat and boots are to be filled with cockroaches, to be fair again easy, well if you like cockroaches! She done it and got 2 additional stars so a grand total of 9 stars!

She done OK I suppose, so plenty of food, good job as Kim will be fucked before long!