Asia and All Glory

 The last few weeks have ben spent in Asia. That is nice on paper but as much as I like this place, it fucking drains you after a bit.

So amazing to think it started 3 weeks ago, a flight to Singapore and then onwards to Malaysia, which seems to be fucked after covid, especially the small island of Langkawi! The advantage was that it was so cheap that it really made the experience good fun, because it was easy to be shit faced. But that came and went, then off to Singapore which is 2 hours south on a plane and horrifically around 60 grand more expensive! The Monaco of Asia except dogs do not just shit over the floor, basically because they eat them.

It is a good city, especially Orchard Towers or as it it better known The Four Floors of Whores. This place was quite clean this year, again as due to the recent Covid pandemic, most of the women there had not been fucked for a while therefore gone bankrupt and had their minge sealed up. The men women had diseases worse than covid so they were fine, but the drop in work probably saw them fucked off to India or some other weird place like that. So it was a good mix of clean new desperate wenches. Nice.

Over to here and Japan, now this place is so great, but I will not lie after a few days you just have enough of them. Keep bowing and just being overly nice makes you not want to hate them, I mean you can't hate them, they are fucking top! But everything talks to you, I have the same car in 15 different countries around the world but this one's glovebox speaks to me, and with respect I have zero clue what the fuck it is saying.

I am nearly over and heading back to a location where people are cunts, that suits me much more.

A Week in Review

 So what a week this has been. We laid to rest our wonderful Queen. Now I know you will expect me to be a bit of an arse here but fuck that, she was a legend and we were lucky here in the UK to have her. 

Basically, slate any of them, but her..... Fuck no.

Speaking of slating people, let's discuss Andrew for a second. I mean I will not defend him at all for obvious reasons but putting yourself out there when he knows the view toward him, I guess he deserves it so I will not feel any sort of sympathy toward the twisted cunt, but fair play. 

As for others, we can look no further than Harry. I think he would batter anybody who crosses him as that is a sort of ginger way to behave, but again what a lad! Do I like Meghan, well I can't say I trust her one bit, she has fallen out with her own family and it is funny that old H had a wobble once he had sown his little ginger seed in her. There is always 2 sides to a story, and I do not especially believe hers.

Back to the week, and the few days that led to the funeral, there was some attention seeking asswipe in Scotland shouting abuse at Andrew, again as above he does sort of deserve it but at a funeral, his mothers funeral? No! Not the time. It looked like he may have had his teeth kicked in anyway so fuck him, I hope it hurt. 

The Scottish were really impressive! For a bunch of haggis eating, octopus playing, skirt wearing oddballs I must admit they set a high bar. That high bar was dragged well down by Celtic in the football with some huge shit-housery which has made them a hated club not only in Scotland but also many others.... This goes back above the above! If you have a view on something this big, great! You don't have to fucking say it though..... cunts!

Don't worry jocks, because your bar which Celtic lowered was picked up and waved high by the rest of your football clubs, and especially Glasgow Rangers, what fucking legends! 

Then she was down here in Parliament which was a strange place for her to be lying in state, it is a place where people lie often so did not get this one, but everything passed well aside from one fucking nut case trying to attack the coffin to check if she was dead or not? With this intelligence out there, then fuck me we are in trouble! I am not intelligent, but I guess that coffin would be well guarded. Another guy who should have had his teeth kicked in.

The the UK went into meltdown. 2 TV personalities who were there to do some TV stuff got hammered for not queuing for 12 hours.

Putin decided that he would threaten the world with nuclear weapons, we are facing another recession and old people are fucked this winter as they cannot have heating on, but no.... let's get out cocks chopped because Phil and Holly didn't queue.... Sometimes we can be too British! To be honest, anyone who jumps a queue is a fucking nonce. I see it around the world where people do not understand the Great British queue rule! But come on, get over it. Bunch of tardfucks.

She had a good send off, the actual funeral was pretty epic! I won't say anything other than those military folks were fucking incredible. Wow.

So as things now get back to some sort of normal, I will gather more things to find fun at through the week. Sadly this week wasn't one of them. 

A Welcome Return

So, I have been asked a fair few times if this would ever return, and to be honest I could never say yes but more importantly could never say no. 

You see the thing is that words can really get you into trouble if they are read with the wrong eyes. Now do not get me wrong, the wrong eyes are indeed troublesome and the beauty is that what you may find offensive, well...... the other 99.999% of the world find it funny. Yet you have the power as the 0.0001% to shut shit down. Think of that and think how fucking bat shit crazy that actually is.

Jimmy Carr a well respected comedian got himself into the world of shit regarding a joke he made on his Netflix show. Now I have listened to it and let's be fair to say it is controversial! I am not defending the minority here but what I would say is that the public display of anger toward him was incredible.

Let me clarify something here, and hear me out.

If you are the sort of person that turns on Netflix, decides to watch a comedy show that in turn the comedian in question openly says that you will be offended, then you continue to watch and be offended.... then I apologise but you are a fucking nut case. Actually this goes for anybody who decides to watch a comedy show, with a warning at the start, and then be offended at the jokes. 

I believe in free speech, and I also believe that you have the right to turn off the fucking television if something DOES amazingly offend you. I get that the world is delicate right now, I get that the world has changed and people nowadays do not know if they are male, female or a fucking sandwich toaster and that is your god given right in life! I for one believe everybody should be happy and live whatever life you want without prejudice or judgement. But I also believe that we have forgotten how to smile and laugh.

For me, the very sight of an elderly person slipping on the ice in winter still makes me laugh, the very sight of other peoples misfortune within reason makes me laugh, and I have no shame in that! If this misfortune happens to me, I want others to laugh. Life is to be enjoyed.

What makes us all great, is that I do not care what religion you choose to be, what sexuality you choose to be, what fucking pro-noun you choose to be (although I have no fucking clue what that shit is about) or amazingly what your skin colour is! I do not care, we are all put on this earth to live out say 90 years of existance in the best way possible.

So please do not be offended if somebody says something derogatory about a pot plant, or be offended if somebody says something nasty in a film or on TV. Just do you. Live your life, smile and enjoy this ride as you only get one shot.

That is why I decided to bring back this bundle of fun that is Pigslips. 

There will be changes, I mean for a start there are more writers. writers are good as we have opinions and guess what, I couldn't give a koala's fanny what opinions others have as that is their right to speak them, or in this case write them. So we write things about the world we live in, and the tour we are on. 

This will be about our world..... and how fucked up it is. Buckle down folks, and remember to smile! It is just a bit of fun.